Imagine a busy restaurant on a Sunday afternoon, bustling with patrons and a kitchen running at full tilt. Enter the “Church Crowd”: twenty-five devout diners who show up without a reservation and demand immediate service. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well.
Our protagonist Kellie, also known online as @ambryrae, took to TikTok to recount this divine comedy in a fit of frustration.
In her now-viral video, Kellie vividly describes the chaos in the dining hall. Despite warning the Church Crowd of a one-hour wait, they reluctantly accept. But their patience proves as short-lived as a summer thunderstorm. One persistent guest continuously badgers her for updates.
When their comically large table is finally ready, one of the self-styled saints complains about the lack of a private space. Because, naturally, everyone carries an extra banquet hall in case the church bus shows up unexpectedly. Huffy dissatisfaction greets Kellie’s explanation that their modest restaurant can’t accommodate such grandiose wishes.
But the absurdity doesn’t stop there. “How long is this going to take?” one obstinate parishioner questions before their salads even arrive. Oh my goodness, maybe wait until you place your order first?
When their meals finally arrive, Kellie finds herself navigating a real-life game of musical chairs. The group trades seats, and a man orders collard greens—in an Italian restaurant. Maybe they mistook it for a multicultural food court?
As if things couldn’t get any crazier, Kellie hears a clamor from their table, complete with tambourines. The group insists on quiet during their impromptu worship session. Imagine that: a public restaurant turned into an uninvited church service.
The bill, a hefty $350 to be split 25 ways, is the final straw. Unsurprisingly, a young member of the congregation can’t cover his share. With a smile sweeter than pie, the group’s leader asks Kellie to “bless” the young man by covering his dinner. Really? Financial exploitation meets divine intervention.
Kellie retorts with the outrageous notion that 25 people could each spare a few bucks—astonishing, right? The leader reluctantly pays, leaving a $50 tip and a parting shot: “Well, I would have left a larger tip if you hadn’t charged us for his food.” Because nothing says Christian kindness like stiffing restaurant staff.
Reflecting on the experience, Kellie begins to question the church’s teachings. “I just wanted to know what you guys are learning in church because you are some of the meanest, most cruel people we have ever had to serve,” she thinks. A sobering reminder of the hypocrisy that often hides behind pious facades.
Kellie’s solution? Consider reporting unruly congregation members to their pastors. Now, we can all enjoy a bit of drama surrounding the Sunday service.
What do you think? Do church crowds really get that bad? Share your thoughts with us; we’d love to hear them.
