Hi there, I’m Sarah, and you know what? I truly don’t want children. Startling? Perhaps. However, as I approach the age when many of my friends are enamored with babies, I find myself more interested in brunch schedules than baby names. Parenthood? Not in my script, and that’s perfectly acceptable!
Saying “no” to kids is completely natural, according to knowledgeable therapists—with whom I tend to agree. You are you, my dear. As relationship and sex therapist Rachel Zar, AMFT, aptly puts it, “If your gut is screaming ‘no’ even when society is chanting ‘yes,’ do yourself a favor and listen.” Living an authentic life means having open and honest conversations with yourself and your loved ones.
1. The idea of sacrificing everything for someone else doesn’t excite you. “If having your life turned upside down for another person does not feel worth it, [parenthood] may not be for you,” observes Nicole Richardson, LPC. If you’re in the prime of your life, enjoying a fulfilling career and relationships, and the mere thought of disrupting your current circumstances for a child makes you break out in hives, that’s a warning sign. You don’t factor kids into your plans, and that’s okay.
2. Your world is ruled by other priorities. Have aspirations of traveling the world, building a successful career, or just spending quality time with your partner? Liz Higgins, MS, LMFT, encourages you to embrace these priorities: “Know that it’s okay if you feel drawn to direct your life’s energy in other directions.” Trust yourself, and don’t let others’ opinions sway you. It’s your life, lived by your rules.
3. Parenthood does not determine fulfillment. Higgins further emphasizes, “If you know deep down that having children is not necessary to feel fulfilled in life, then resist the urge to give in to pressure from friends or family.” A fulfilling career, travel, investing in a partner, or pursuing passions are just a few ways to find fulfillment in life. Own your truth because no one knows you like you do.
So, dear reader, remember that your decision does not define your worth, whether you choose to have children or not. Maybe it’s your partner, your travels, or your career that brings you joy; for me, it’s writing. There’s no rush, no wrong turn; simply follow your intuition and make the most out of life!
